Friday, December 12, 2008

A desperate cry to the masses: Save the boobies!

Tonight I was at a party where this milf-y lookin' woman had ruined her figure with a bad boob job. I can understand that there are many reasons why a woman would want a larger chest. Mastectomy, self-esteem, vanity...

But like mayonnaise or Maroon 5, you can have TOO much.

As an avid watcher of porn, I like my women at around 36C or D. Does that mean I'll vomit at 40DD's or run from 32C's - no way! Just 38WWW's don't do it for me.

Sir Mix-a-lot said it best, "silicone parts were made for toys". He's right! And boobs are the most fun I can (and often do) think of! But fake boobs shouldn't look fake or else they've turned from sexy into a fetish.

Other fetishes that are fun to look at, but NOT sexy.

1.) Cake (also peanut butter or meatloaf) Farts

2.) Shit Eating

3.) Adult "babies"

4.) Aputee porn

5.) Granny porn (NOT milf porn)

6.) Midgets

7.) Snuff films

8.) Tentacle/Alien fucking

9.) Inserting bottles, lit candles, bowling pins, etc. into a cavity.

10.) Vomit porn.

Some may argue that 9 can be sexy... but I fail to see it, so sorry it's on the list. In any case, fetishes can be fun but they're not for everyone and the same can be said about enormous fake looking beach ball breasts. They're not for everyone, which effectively takes 2 more mammaries off the market.

So ladies, before you go and ruin your chest with a size that doesn't work with your body type or makes you look like you escaped from a circus sponsored by Hustler, rethink that boob job. Go for something understated and simple. Something that accentuates your figure and gives you a naturally fuckable look.

Then send me the photos when your nipples heal - cause I LOVE looking at boobs.


Jennaa Loire said...

Ummmmmmmmmmmm! That is all I have to say o.o

Videos by Professor Howdy said...

Interesting Blog!
Hope you are doing well!